"We've come a long way"

Nun pioneer still active in ministry to
divorced and separated at 79

By Christopher Gaul Senior staff correspondent

By the time Sister M. Joannes Clifford, R. S. M., finished watching a recent "Today Show" segment about divorce, her initial curiosity had turned into indignation.

The 79-year-old Sister of Mercy, who pioneered outreach ministry to the divorced and separated in Baltimore's archdiocese, was irked by the absence in the program of what she said was "any semblance of what's out there to help people."

So, she e-mailed the Today Show several times providing the producers with Web site links to organizations designed to help people who feel the pain of separation.

"I never even got an acknowledgment of my e-mails," said Sister Joannes, who in the early 1980s organized a series of lectures addressing the issue of divorce and separation and in 1987 helped form the Friends of Mercy group that is still going strong today.

Although she's wheelchair-bound these days, Sister Joannes remains active in the ministry she embraced after a life-changing encounter with Father James J. Young, C. S. P., at the Washington Theological Union during a 1979 sabbatical from her teaching duties at Mercy High School.

Father Young was a Paulist priest who seven years earlier had formed what is believed to be the first group in the U. S. to minister to divorced Catholics, both men and women. Sister Joannes took a course from him at WTU and came away determined to start something similar in Baltimore. With Father Young's help, she set up a schedule for a series of lectures, got a grant from the Sisters of Mercy and was able to attract strong speakers who drew a crowd.

In 1987, along with a small group of individuals who regularly attended the lectures, she established "Friends of Mercy", a support group to help people adjust to the crisis of being separated, widowed or divorced.

Later she was instrumental in the formation of the archdiocese- affiliated advocacy group, the Catholic Single Again Council of Baltimore.

The early years weren't easy, though.

She had a hard time getting information about her programs into parish bulletins, and when she called the pastor of one parish to see if he could help, the pastor told Sister Joannes, "We don't have any separated or divorced here," she recalled. "Imagine that," she said with a chuckle.

But, gradually the parishes became more sensitized to the importance of reaching out to the single again members of their faith communities, and the archdiocese put its imprimatur on the efforts.

"We've come a long way," Sister Joannes said, " and I think the church is a lot more open than it was before." Sister Joannes didn’t take Father Young's WTU course on ministering to the divorced by accident. As director of alumnae at Mercy High School, she had found herself becoming concerned about the number of phone calls or letters she was getting from former students about the break- ups in their lives.

"I'd get notes that said, 'Say a prayer, my husband left me and I have two small kids' or 'I changed my last name, I have a new name now.'"

"I knew what was going on, and it hurt me," Sister Joannes said.

She finds her ministry "very gratifying", she said, because she sees people regain their self-esteem as a result of the programs and enter a new life with courage and confidence.

"I love this ministry," Sister Joannes said.

"These people are wonderful. So many of them think that nobody will like them; that they're not worth anything, and then you see them gradually get better."

She's busy now preparing for a workshop conference of the Single Again group to be held April 16 at the Loyola College Graduate Center in Columbia. She helped organize the event and her job that day will be to give the welcoming address. She’s looking forward to it.

"Oh, yes, I still get around," Sister Joannes said with a grin.

In 1987, Sister M. Joannes Clifford, R. S. M., established "Friends of Mercy", a support group to help people adjust to being separated, widowed or divorced.

Copyright (c)2005 Catholic Review 04/14/2005