The purpose of this page is to provide more information about meeting speakers, topics, handouts and cited sources from prior monthly meetings.

Sunday, Dec 15

Speaker: Fr. Joe Breighner (web site)
Topic: The Holidays are Almost Here ... Oh No!!!

Direct from his sleigh, Fr. Joe offered us his 12 Gifts of Christmas:

1. Accept the hospitality of this group
2. Honor the grieving process
3. Face reality that everyone is a little crazy at Christmas
4. Honor yourself
5. Honor your life's purpose
6. Be grateful for what is instead of grieving what we have lost
7. Let go of the bad stuff in life
8. Learn to forgive yourself
9. Learn to forgive others

And exchange these gifts:
10. Exchange guilt for the gold of God's Love
11. Exchange the frankincense of fear for faith and trust in God
12. Exchange myrrh of burial for the mirth of joy.
 

Sunday, Nov 17

Speaker: Cindi Callanan
Topic: You Can Heal Anything: Demystifying Relationships

Cindi share several Relationship Truths with us:

• Relationships don't work because we don't understand the dynamics at the start.
• Relationships are not random occurrences. We grow up and get married to finish our childhoods.
• Recurrent frustrations are based in childhood.
• Relationships come to us to activate issues so we can heal.
• Relationships are energy. We are attracted to what we have known.

In Imago Therapy (as explained by Harville Hendrix - www.imagotherapy.com):

• We are wounded at different stages of our development. Subsequent stages do not get handled correctly.
• We attract those who have what we want.

Our best hope to deal with this wounding is to become aware of our issues, deal with the feelings associated with these issues, and ultimately, to change our behaviors.

Cindi Callanan is relationship counselor. He office phone number is 410-771-4293.

Sunday, Oct 20

Speaker: Dottie Levesque
Topic: Growing in Trust and Wholeness after a Significant Loss

Dottie helped us answer the following questions:
"How do I know that I'm moving along in the right direction?
How do I know I'm healing?"
Dottie's presentation also focused on 20 signs of healing after a separation, divorce or death.

Dottie Levesque directs the Ministry with Separated, Divorced, Remarried and Widowed in Rhode Island. She is a dear friend of FOM and a frequent speaker at our meetings.
     

Sunday, Sept 15

15th Anniversary Mass and Dinner
Celebrant: Fr. Joe Muth

Over 100 members and numerous former co-leaders joined in celebrating the 15th anniversary of Friends of Mercy. The afternoon (and early evening) was filled with good food, great entertainment, and a few games of chance.
   

Sunday, Aug 18

Speaker: Marlene Shapiro, LCSW-C
Topic: "The Positive Stress Response" or "I'm Stressed But I Can Handle It!"

Marlene Shapiro, from Sheppard Pratt, joined FOM members in exploring the warning signs of stress, the sources of stress and the effects stress can have on our physical, psychological, and emotional health. She then gave us some skills and methods to manage the stress that exists in our lives..
   

Sunday, July 21

Speaker: Dr. Jim Dasinger
Topic: Dealing with Difficult People

Dr. Dasinger talked about what a difficult person was, and the different kinds of difficult people:
"Tank" - pushy and aggressive
"Sniper" - biting sarcasm, ties to make you look foolish
"Grenade" - blows up without warning
"Know-It-All" - never in doubt
"Yes Person" - agrees to everything
"Maybe Person" - afraid to make a decision
"No Person" - disagrees with everything
"Nothing Person" - doesn't say anything
"Whiner" - always in a state of despair

There are several ways to deal with difficult people:
- Do nothing, just walk away.
- Change our attitude.
- Change our behavior.

Instead of reacting, we can ask ourselves, what's wrong with this person today? What could be upsetting them? Or, we could disarm them by using neutral language, neither agreeing nor disagreeing with them. Empathy also gives the difficult person what they need while protecting our own integrity. We could also use "blending": Talk softly if they are shouting. Talk slowly if they are talking fast.

Dr. Jim Dasinger is always one of our most entertaining speakers. He peppered his talk with jokes and amusing stories about his own life. And a Dr. Jim visit would not be complete without some songs with the Dr. Jim banjo.
   

Speaker: Joseph Brown
Topic: Starting Fresh without the Stress

Joe started by asking us what we wanted out of life. Then he reminded us that life is tough. The "package of life" is make up of some things we can control and some things we cannot. We need to treasure each moment of our lives. We find ourselves living from the outside in and not the inside out. Again he asked what we want out of life and what is keeping up from achieving our goals.

The audience enjoyed Joe's entertaining and motivational discussion.
   

Speaker: Dawn Ader O'Meally, LCSW-C
Topic: Emotional Intimacy - It's the "STUFF" that Successful Relationships are made of.

Dawn O'Meally started with a definition of intimacy: "I allow you to see me." A highly interactive session followed, where both thing that support emotional intimacy and things that get in the way of emotional intimacy were discussed. Fair fighting rules were distributed. During fair fighting, the partners should attack the problem, not each other.

Dawn made reference to the following books during her talk:
Relationship Rescue - Dr. Phil McGraw
Intimacy on the Run: Staying Close When So Much Keeps You Apart - Robert Lauer
   

Speaker: Karen Klein, LCSW-C
Topic: Resolving Conflict with Others and Within Yourself

Conflicts result when some underlying needs are not being met. We need to feel secure, independent, accepted and validated, and to belong. If a need is not being met, it is translated into fear, especially a fear of loss.

Conflict represents a problem to be solved. You can either address it, avoid it, or a little of both. You can resolve the conflict or walk away. The choice should be made by comparing the "cost" of both options. It is okay to walk away sometimes. Anger often hinders conflict resolution. Anger is often misunderstood and sometimes not appropriately expressed. It is better if the angry person can release their anger in a non-threatening manner.
  

Speaker: Sr. Sharon Burns
Topic: Let's Live 'till We Die: Life's Journey Toward Wholeness

Sr. Sharon defined the "fully alive" person as one who sees that life is full of wonder. Attitude has everything to do with the course of our life. Life is transitory. Everyday is precious.

Life is a journey. Almost everything you do is good and holy. A sense of humor is important too.

Sister shared many of her experiences in hospice work, as well as a number of inspirational and humorous stories. She quoted two books:
Tuesdays with Morrie - by Mitch Albom
Living through Personal Crisis - by Ann Kaiser Stearns
   

Speaker: Woody Powell
Topic: Who Moved My Cheese? Is It Really Gone?

Woody Powell talked about various aspects of "change". Before we can be comfortable with change, we need to know our "home base", the aspects of our personality that color how we view the world. It is where we feel safe.

Change: You either get it or you don't. You have a choice. That is the beauty of it, but it is also the scary part. It means you also have the responsibility. Change is both a challenge and an opportunity. We can value change as a chance to have a new start. Woody also suggested that we view change as a project. Be an active participant in shaping change, not the passive victim of change.

Dr. Powell recommended the following books during his talk:
Who Moved My Cheese? - by Johnson and Blanchard
Life Strategies - by Dr. Phil McGraw
Don't Sweat the Small Stuff - by Richard Carlson
   

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Sorry. Notes from years prior to 2002 were not saved.